“Homosexuality: Speaking as Followers of Jesus” by John Suk.
“What I Learned About Homosexuality” by Al Hoksbergen.
“The Church’s Response to Sexual Disorder” by Melvin Hugen.
“Why We Cannot Heal Among You: An Open letter to Our Christian Community” by Don and Carmen Bergman.
“Homosexuality, First Person” by Paul Wise; and two related news items. The Banner, August 14, 2000.
by Dr. Ralph Blair
The editor of the Christian Reformed Church biweekly introduces a cover feature on homosexuality by saying that this topic is “the most explosive thing” he’s ever dealt with. Suk reports: “Early in my tenure I ran an ad for a group of [the denomination’s] Calvin [College] graduates who wanted to organize a gay alumni association.” The most common responses? “People called to shout abuse at me. People questioned my salvation. They wrote scathing personal attacks.” He recalls “lay[ing] awake at night wracked with worry and angst” and adds: “Some time later … it came to me that I had experienced a little taste of what many homosexual people live with every day. … No wonder so many gay people don’t even try to work things out in the church. Our community has always had it in for gay people.” Suk notes that the CRC’s highest governing body “has admitted as much” in its prayer of repentance for being “cruel” and “insulting” to homosexuals.
Hoksbergen, a retired pastor on the CRC board of trustees, says he was “shocked” when “a faithful member of our church” confided he was gay. He says he then began to learn the truth about homosexuality: “It’s not a choice. Change is very unlikely. The world [and] the church reject homosexuals.” And he learned that what the Bible seems to say about same-sex acts doesn’t describe this church member. He concludes: “When I read the gospels, I am especially impressed by the stories that tell about the love Jesus has for those rejected by the religious community.”
Hugen (emeritus professor of pastoral theology at Calvin Seminary) briefly repeats his long-held and often published antigay stance. He insists that homosexuals’ deep-seated desire for sexual intimacy – “a condition for which they have no responsibility” – is “a disordered sexual condition” to which they must never yield. Yet he grants that “Sexuality is a mysterious and basic dimension of human existence,” that “It is the desire to give and receive intimacy so that the ‘aloneness’ of a person is overcome in the love relationship,” and that “Neither the Old Testament nor the New speaks about sexual disorders of any kind.” He also grants that homosexuals “often pray for deliverance but no deliverance comes.” Still, he decrees, the overcoming of their “aloneness” must never be allowed.
No wonder the Bergmans, CRC parents of a gay son, say they “cannot heal” with such pastoral theology. They tell of hostile attacks, shunning, and lies that they and their son have endured from fellow Christians. “After 30 years of service in Christian education, Don’s employment was terminated. We were abandoned by all our closest friends … What for? Because we accepted our gay son, asked the school to stop the harassment of gay individuals, and told our son that we expect him to remain celibate, but if that was not possible then to choose … to live in a committed relationship of love.” They end by saying: “The serious challenge for Christians is not how to square homosexuality with certain passages of the Bible that seem to condemn it, but rather how to reconcile rejection, prejudice, and cruelty toward gays and their supporters with the gracious, unconditional love of Christ.”
Wise recounts years of his and his wife’s denial and depression around his homosexuality. He describes “acted out” homosexual “addiction” and ” ‘cruising’ in nearby parks every chance I could get out of the house.” After a traumatic arrest for public indecency, he joined an Exodus “ex-gay” support group. It seems that there, for the first time, he experienced non-genital but nonetheless deeply sexual intimacy with other gay Christian men. He’s now the group’s leader. He is not candid about his current sexual desires, but clearly, there’s nothing in his testimony that hasn’t been said before by “ex-gay” leaders who eventually gave up their “ex-gay” claims and gave in to their continuing homosexual orientation – or “feelings,” as Exodus director Bob Davies puts it. In concluding by saying “I believe that change and healing are available for homosexuality,” Wise uses the same two vague terms – “change” and “healing” – that Davies now says should be rethought in the aftermath of Exodus board chairman John Paulk’s having been caught in a gay bar.
Two CRC news items round out this edition. One is about another Exodus-affiliated group that keeps “what you do” separated from desires. The other is about Calvin Seminary grad Jim Lucas, who says: “Simply listen from the heart to gay and lesbian fellow church members.” If readers give intelligent and compassionate attention to everything here, they’ll move in the right direction.