After an average of 16 years in mixed-orientation marriage, the same-sex oriented spouse is still same-sex oriented. On the basis of self-reports, there’s no shift toward heterosexual attraction on the part of the same-sex oriented spouse, even though there’s some participation in sex acts within the marriage.
When asked about frequency of sexual relations within these orientation-discordant marriages, same-sex oriented spouses reported a figure twice as high as that reported by the heterosexual oriented spouses.
These findings, involving 106 husbands and 161 wives, are from psychologist Mark Yarhouse and his research team at Pat Robertson’s Regent University. Their study, “Characteristics of Mixed Orientation Couples”, is published in Edification, a journal from the evangelical Society for Christian Psychology.
Given the evangelical identity of the researchers, their base of operation and publisher, together with the corroborating evidence from studies by another evangelical psychologist, Warren Throckmorton [see below], very serious and sobering questions are raised over the “pastoral” recommendations for orientation-discordant marriage made in the past several years by Jonathan Mills, “ex-gay” advocates and other church leaders who are against orientation-concordant marriage.
From in-depth interviews with over 300 same-sex attracted men and women currently or previously in mixed-orientation marriages, “on the whole, the group assessed themselves as more gay in their attractions and fantasies than when they were 18.” This finding of intensified homosexual longing within and after their mixed-orientation marriages is from evangelical Christian psychologist Warren Throckmorton. He is currently writing a book on his research. His summary statement is at wthrockmorton.com for July 13, 2011.
Throckmorton has checked out a claim by “reparative” therapist Joseph Nicolosi and has found it to be without basis in fact. In his recent book, Nicolosi asserts that Diana Fosha’s Accelerated Experiential-Dynamic therapy makes “ex-gay” change more effective by resolving alleged disruptions of attachment to the same-sex parent – a pet notion of Nicolosi’s. Throckmorton asked Fosha if, indeed, she’s found any evidence that such attachment disruption plays a part in orienting sexual attraction or might play a part in changing sexual orientation. Fosha answered firmly: “No. … None.” And, she said that, from what she knows about “reparative” therapies, they’re “misguided at best, and dangerous at worst.” Throckmorton observes: “It is informative that she does not see any relationship between attachment problems and sexual orientation. If such problems were frequently associated with sexual orientation changes, I would think she would see evidence of a relationship in her work.”
An “ex-gay” life-coaching enterprise called Journey into Manhood is using “healing-touch therapy” at its 48-hour, $650 group therapy retreats. Ted Cox – a heterosexual, former Mormon and now an atheist – went undercover at a Journey into Manhood weekend camp in the Arizona desert. He describes his being instructed to sit “on the floor between the outstretched legs of a camp guide, my head leaning back against his shoulder. The guide sat behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest. This hold was called ‘The Motorcycle’. Five men surrounded the two of us, their hands resting gently on my arms, legs and chest. There were about ten other groups like this sitting on the floor in the darkened room: one guide giving ‘healing-touch therapy’ while the surrounding men rested their hands on the receiver. Some men were held in the Motorcycle position. Others were turned towards their guide, cradled the way a parent would hold a sobbing child.” According to Cox, the allegedly “ex-gay” leader guide became sexually aroused during the “healing-touch therapy”. Cox writes: “Sometime during all that holding and touching and singing, while I was cradled in the Motorcycle position, I felt it: the unmistakable bulge pressing through his tight jeans. It was the first time in my life I had felt another man’s erection.” Cox’s full report, “My Journey into Manhood”, is on the scribd.com website.
“Ex-gay” leader John Smid is apologizing for “further wounding teens that were already in a very delicate place in life.” He is referring to controversial approaches and policies at the “ex-gay” Love in Action ministry he ran in Tennessee. That facility was closed, but Smid is still leading an “ex-gay” group. His new group is Grace Rivers.
Michael Bussee, a founder of Exodus, has often apologized for his part in the “ex-gay” movement and has campaigned against its false promises and its cover up of failures. Bussee says that Smid’s apology is a “big step” but others think it’s too little, too late.
The Presbyterian Church of Ghana is setting up a “rehabilitation” center for the “curing” of homosexuals. According to theologian Emmanuel Martey, moderator of this African denomination, homosexuality is “un-African, abnormal and filthy”. But, he says, a “cure” is achieved through prayer and, if need be, the expulsion of evil spirits. Martey, who holds a master’s degree and a doctorate from New York City’s liberal Union Seminary, is the author of African Theology: Inculturation and Liberation.
Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago has severed its link with the “ex-gay” Exodus network. This megachurch’s disaffiliation from Exodus, though effected in 2009, has just now come to light. It’s one of several similar moves away from Exodus in recent years. Other evangelical ministries that have moved out of the Exodus orbit include: Where Grace Abounds, Mastering Life, New Direction and HopeLine.
Tim Keller, founding pastor of New York’s Redeemer Presbyterian Church – a megachurch of the conservative Presbyterian Church in America – responded to queries from Gay City News this summer. He spoke of his younger gay brother who died of AIDS 13 years ago: “We had a close relationship and spoke freely and frankly about Christianity and homosexuality. I came to understand his point of view and his struggle.” Keller said: This “very intense experience helped me express the classic Christian view without compromise but with a new sympathy.” Though Keller is clear that he thinks “homosexuality is not God’s original design for sexuality”, he’s been savagely mocked by Right-wing bloggers who accuse him of compromise. But, Keller says: “Christians are called to love and serve the practical needs and interests of all their neighbors, including gay people, people of other faiths and anyone who believes differently than they do.”
Redeemer does not sponsor an “ex-gay” effort nor is there any antigay harangue from the pulpit. Some who attend Redeemer are gay and committed to celibacy; others who attend are in a committed monogamous same-sex relationship.
Near the end of a videoed interview in front of a New York audience, Fox News reporter Lauren Green asked Keller about gay marriage. He quipped: “Well, you know, I would actually say and this is a, this is definitely the time to come to a conclusion.” The audience roared with laughter. She said he could answer the question at the next forum. Keller responded: “Maybe we should have a different interviewer and a different answerer for that one.”
In another video interview at Columbia University, historian David Eisenbach, author of a pro-gay book called Gay Power, asked Keller if homosexuality’s a sin that sends people to hell. Keller responded that it’s misleading to simply say homosexuality’s a sin since that singles out homosexuality instead of taking note that the Bible is far more concerned with the sin of greed, for example. Keller granted, “the Bible has reservations”, but it’s very clear that what sends someone to hell is self-righteousness.
Gabe Lyons, a leading organizer of other evangelicals seeking the common good, writes against “the degradation of marriage” and he calls on Christians to engage in “rigorous, civil dialogues … that go beyond the issues of same-sex relationships.” Referring to the disproportionate attention that religious groups give to their opposition to same-sex marriage, Lyons points out that “only a small portion of the American population, after all, identifies as gay or lesbian.” He urges Christians to look instead at “the heterosexuals with spoiled marriages and the increasingly popular hook-up culture in the younger generation.” He quotes Princeton University’s outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage, Robert George, as saying: “The problem with marriage in our country isn’t same-sex marriage. It lies in heterosexual sexual activity in and outside of marriage.” Lyons says that Christians should focus “on what we can control – loving our spouses, serving our families, renewing our commitment to help others whose marriages are failing, and by engaging with the youngest generations on what it looks like for them to pursue healthy sexuality.” Author of The Next Christians, Lyons made his remarks on the Huffington Post, July 25.
Says Michael Barone, resident fellow at the conservative American Enterprise Institute and Fox News commentator: “As one who favors same-sex marriage for reasons set out in Jonathan Rouch’s 2004 book, Gay Marriage, I think the institution of the family is less threatened by a few people who want to get married than by the very many more people who get divorced or who have children without getting married at all.”
“When gay activists wield the label of hate against such organizations [as Focus on the Family, Exodus, etc.] their efforts turn counter-productive.” Some gay leaders have been voicing this same warning for years, especially about the political agitation from Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and other LGBT lobbies. Now Jonathan Merritt and Tim Willard, two young evangelical writers, make this point in their “Redefining Hate” essay on the Huffington Post. They note that twisting honest disagreement into hate speech, “simply reinforce[s] the conservative talking point that gay activists cannot be satisfied shy of full capitulation to their positions. Turning up the rhetorical heat serves no purpose other than retrenching your opposition and inflaming an already contentious issue.” Merritt and Willard continue: “We live in a world that glorifies tolerance. It’s ironic that those who often champion this characteristic are quick to abandon it when they encounter people who disagree with their perspectives.”
These two evangelicals also call out “American Christians [who] must surely wrestle with a sordid history on same sex issues. In years past, some believers opposed funding for HIV research and aid because they viewed the illness as God’s judgment on sexual immorality. Worse still, the faithful have often employed angry, reactive and, yes, even hateful rhetoric when speaking about the LGBT community.”
Inspired by the popular Greenbelt events in Britain, a Wild Goose Festival was held in North Carolina in June. Like its Christian counterpart across the pond, the cutting-edge weekend at Shakori Hills Farm was chockfull of music performance, speakers and some welcoming spirit for the many LGBT Christians in attendance. Among the gay-affirming, though non-gay, Christian musicians and speakers were Peggy Campolo, Jay Bakker, Derek Webb, Bart Campolo, Nancy Sehested and Phyllis Tickle. Openly gay Christian leaders at the event included Justin Lee, Jennifer Knapp and Peterson Toscano.
Tony Campolo often recounts a true story from his high school days – a story about a bullied gay classmate. He says he, himself, joined in the shaming of Roger. One day when Campolo was absent, the bullying went a lot farther. The bullies ganged up on Roger, stripped and beat him severely. He stumbled home and, that night, he hanged himself in the basement.
Now, a Christian rapper, Theory Hazit, has written “Concealed Sorrow” in memory of Roger, and hoping that “the church would listen, watch and perform the love of Christ to all that struggle.” The video can be seen on YouTube. In the credits, there’s a special thanks to BIOLA University.
“God loves gays but hates a perverted lifestyle. … Turn or burn.” This is what was posted on a big sign along U. S. Route 76, between Flip’s Barbeque and a Papa John’s Pizza in Wilmington, NC. Someone finally smashed it with a hammer and drove off. The sign belonged to Sea Gate Community Chapel where, before the smashing, a peaceful protest by gay-supportive folks had gathered. Sea Gate officials say the sign was not meant to offend.
University of North Carolina (Wilmington) criminology professor Mike Adams ridicules a list of the town’s gay-friendly churches, businesses, clinics and other agencies. The campus LGBTQIA Resource Office published the list. About one of these congregations, The Church of the Servant, Adams smirks: “What if the gay couple is into all those games of dominance and submission? Shouldn’t a truly diverse congregation serve both the dominant and submissive partner?” This is rather mild, compared with other blogs in which he’s mocked the reporting of gay teen suicides and joked about starting a website called “Global War on Fags” with videos of slaughter. Adams once told the Religious Right’s World magazine that he almost died of amphetamine use in his younger days. He was hired at UNC while still an atheist and has since become a Right-wing Christian.
The last known homosexual survivor of the Nazi concentration camps has died. Rudolf Brazda, passed away on August 3 at age 98. He was one of 10 to 15 thousand homosexuals among the millions of other “undesirables” that Hitler imprisoned and exterminated. Brazda was freed in the American liberation of Buchenwald in 1945.
Bishop Eddie Long settled out of court with yet a fifth young man who accused him of homosexual misconduct. Centino Kemp, 22, never officially filed a lawsuit, but he came forward with allegations during Long’s settlement negotiations with the other four young men. According to press reports, as a teenager, Kemp met Long at the bishop’s New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. Unlike the other four accusers, the flamboyant Kemp is openly gay and has a tattoo on his wrist that features Long’s name and the words, “Never a Mistake, Always a Lesson.” He is now launching a music career and has posted his video, “Pornography”, on YouTube. The black “Church Lady” blogs: “Centino may be rolling in limos right now off the sweat of Newbirth church members tithes and offerings, but chile, he better hope he don’t have to give that money back with all the dumb stuff he is doing to jeopardize his gag order.”
Church members who are still attending Long’s services are angered over continuing coverage of the scandal and tell reporters that they believe it’s all a plot to bring down the bishop.
Meanwhile, one of the other young men whose case was settled out of court has been arrested in Florida on suspicion of drug possession. He was pulled over in a 2011 white BMW with no tags. Officers searched the vehicle and allegedly found 181 grams of marijuana, 50 clear bags, a handgun and $1,250 in cash.
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada will allow ministers to perform same-sex blessings or marriages in accordance with the laws in their provinces. Over 600 congregations comprise the ELCC, making it Canada’s largest Lutheran denomination.
Since the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is now ordaining ministers who are in committed same-sex partnership, dissenters have left to form a new Lutheran denomination, the North American Lutheran Church. Some 800 members of the new group met in Hilliard, Ohio this summer and installed a Centerville minister as their first bishop. The ELCA is the largest Lutheran denomination in the U. S.
Wheaton College is dubbed the least friendly college for LGBT students. This is the annual verdict of Princeton Review – a company with no affiliation to Princeton University. Other schools on the “unfriendly” list are University of Rhode Island, Texas A&M, Notre Dame, Brigham Young, Southern Methodist and Grove City College.
OneWheaton is a “Community of LGBTQs and Allies of Wheaton College”. The group’s website go over 16,000 unique visits during the first weekend the site was up and over 600 signatories to its original letter. It identifies itself as “a collective, grass roots community whose goal is to be a resource for the LGBTQ students and allies at Wheaton College and other evangelical schools who may be struggling with the integration of faith, sexual orientation and gender identity. … What underlines OneWheaton’s unity is the shared belief that LGBTQ people are not ‘tragic’, nor is their love ‘misguided’ or their relationships ‘broken’.” More information is at www.OneWheaton.com.
The Wheaton College administration’s initial response to OneWheaton’s leafleting on campus was this: “We stand with LGBTQ persons before God as persons created in God’s own image, and also as sinful persons in need of God’s forgiveness and love through Jesus Christ, God’s Son.” The statement noted the College’s view that homosexual behavior is condemned in scripture, but went on to say: “We carry a burden for our students, faculty, staff and alumni who experience same-sex attraction because of the pain they so often experience, and pray that we can be a community that loves those who identify as LGBTQ. While we recognize that Wheaton’s stance may be unsatisfying to some of our alumni, we remain resolved to respond with truth and grace.”
Researchers at Utah State University and Brigham Young University are gathering the experiences of nearly 1,000 GLBT Mormons. The study, through a 149-question survey, is a joint project of a psychologist who is neither gay nor Mormon and a biologist who is a Mormon and father of a gay son.
“Don’t be deceived, this is another trial run orchestrated by the spirit of the antichrist.” What is? According to Gay Movement Watch blogger DL Foster, it’s President Obama’s “unprecedented affinity for homosexual rights”. He is saying that, “the gay community will have in Barack Hussein Obama its ultimate hero: the first openly homosexual president.” GMW backs up the antichrist accusation by referencing “a rolling succession of natural disaster phenomenons all across the country (floods, tornadoes, fires, heatwaves, winter storms, etc), each of them breaking all previous set disaster records.”
Janis Ian, Grammy-winning folk singer/songwriter of the ‘60s, is still performing. In a recent interview in Atlanta, she was asked if her coming out as lesbian hurt her career. “I’m sure that it did, but you do what you gotta do. … I don’t know that it matters as much as it did. It matters in certain areas. Certainly in the Christian music area, we have yet to see a black well-known artist come out. We have yet to see a gospel artist come out. There are a lot of black and gospel artists who are gay. When they come out, that will change things a lot.”
Actually, a few Christians in black and gospel music have come out or have been forced out and this has, indeed, hurt their careers in Christian music.
B. Slade – Anthony Williams (formerly known as Tonex) – and now openly gay, says he is done with the gospel music genre. Since the antigay backlash and shunning within the African-American church made it impossible for him to continue as gospel singer Tonex, he has turned to Pop and Soul. In an interview in Essence magazine, he was asked if he’d ever consider marrying another man. His reply: “I wouldn’t say it’s not an option. I think that love is for everyone.”
Gospel singer Dejuaii Pace of The Anointed Pace Sisters has come out as lesbian, though she says that, at 45, she’s still a virgin. She said that, to cope with the secret of her sexual orientation for all these years in the church, she turned to overeating. She discussed this on the new Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) show, Addicted to Food.
Shawn Thomas, a Christian singer/songwriter who’s also gay, says he often faces the most hostility from other gays and lesbians. They say: “It’s not true that there’s a place for faith in the gay community.” He says: “Being an openly gay Christian is kind of like coming out of the ‘second closet’. [But] being gay is only a part of who God made me to be. My purpose is to glorify God and share the gospel of Christ.” He is based in the Palm Beach Metropolitan Community churches and sings mainly in MCC and other gay-affirming congregations across the country.
Dolly Parton apologizes for what a lesbian couple experienced at Dollywood. When the couple entered the grounds of the theme park, one of the women was asked to turn her shirt inside out because it said: “Marriage is So Gay”. Parton issued a statement: “I am truly sorry for the hurt or embarrassment regarding the gay and lesbian T-shirt incident at Dollywood’s Splash Country recently.” She continued: “Everyone knows of my personal support of the gay and lesbian community. Dollywood is a family park and all families are welcome.”
Among Dolly’s many gay fans is a 36-year-old gay man from Mississippi. His parents say he’s been enthralled with Dolly since he was 2-years-old. He calls the T-shirt dustup a “tempest in a teapot. … I thought the gatekeeper was completely right. They tend to not allow political message shirts on park grounds so you don’t get people getting into political arguments. … To appreciate and understand the phrase, ‘Marriage is So Gay’, one has to have a well-developed sense of irony and sarcasm. … It’s entirely possible that the staff member thought the shirt was an insult that might offend a gay person.”
Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboys receiver, says overcompensation in response to his brother’s being gay may have been behind his womanizing and cocaine use. He says this explanation emerged in his counseling with the megachurch pastor, T. D. Jakes. In a recent issue of Out magazine, Irvin speaks up for the rights of gay people: “I don’t want to know an African-American who will say everybody doesn’t deserve equality.”
Freud’s Last Session, “just celebrated its highly deserved one-year anniversary”, as reviewer David Noh cheers in New York City’s Gay City News. What the gay reviewer called an “ultra-smart” off-Broadway play was written by Mark St. Germain and inspired by work on C. S. Lewis by evangelical Christian psychiatrist Armand Nicholi of Harvard Medical School. The play is about an imaginary 1939 encounter between Sigmund Freud and Lewis. The actor playing Lewis, Mark H. Dold, has been in a gay relationship for almost 16 years. He says: “People thank us after the show because it’s so smart and I think they’re craving theater like this, which used to exist, that you can’t really find anymore. And it deals with the question of God, which is probably the only topic that everybody on the face of the earth has to think about, reflecting on death and what happens, why we’re here, where we’re going, and what it’s all about.” Besides the New York production, Freud’s Last Session is also being done in Tokyo, Stockholm, Buenos Aires, Mexico City, Israel, and Spain. More details are at freudslastsession.com.
The number of Americans getting infected with HIV has held steady at about 50,000 between 2006 and 2009, according to the government. But there is a 48 percent increase among 13 to 29-year-old blacks. Sex between males accounts for most of the new cases.
The increasing rate of HIV infections in Muslim countries is “driven by men having sex with other men in secret because of homophobia, religious intolerance and fear of being jailed or executed.” This is the conclusion of a Weill Cornell Medical School collation of multi-country studies published recently in PLoS, the medical journal of the Public Library of Science.
AND FINALLY:
2011 marks the 200th birthday of Harriet Beecher Stowe, abolitionist and author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. She was married to Bible scholar, Calvin Stowe.
A difference between sensibilities toward same-sex physical intimacy in 19th-century America as over against a later day is illustrated by some things Calvin wrote to Harriet who was away from home for long stretches of time. In one letter, he reports: “When I get desperate, & cannot stand it any longer, I get dear, good kind hearted Br[other] Stagg to come and sleep with me, and he puts his arms round me & hugs me to my hearts’ content”. Another time, Calvin told Harriet about a Mr. Farber of Newton whose engagement to be married was postponed by an eye infection. According to Calvin, the man “[took] it into his little black-curly pate to fall desperately in love with me and he kisses and kisses upon my rough old face, as if I were the most beautiful young lady instead of a musty old man. The Lord sent him here to be my comfort. … He will have me sleep with him once in a while and he says, that is almost as good as being married – the dear little innocent ignorant soul.”
The documentation for this is in historian Joan D. Hedrick’s acclaimed biography, Harriet Beecher Stow: A Life, published in 1994.