Exodus “ex-gay” network board chairman John Paulk was caught drinking and socializing in “Mr. P’s,” a well-known gay bar in a heavily gay section of Washington, DC, on Tuesday night, September 19. Paulk, the manager of the homosexuality department of the Religious Right’s Focus on the Family, had been the cover boy for a 1998 Newsweek feature on the “ex-gay” movement. That same year he had written Not Afraid to Change: The remarkable story of how one man overcame homosexuality (reviewed by Ralph Blair in Review, Fall 1998, (cf. back reviews on ecinc.org and republished on indegayforum.org).
Two weeks after the gay bar incident, Paulk was removed as Exodus board chairman though he is being retained as a board member on probationary status.
After spending almost an hour inside the gay bar, Paulk was photographed by staff members of the Human Rights Campaign. Paulk at first claimed that he had not known it was a gay bar and had gone there merely to use the restroom. Paulk insisted: “The true story is simple. Needing to use a restroom while walking in D.C., I went into a tavern. Seeing men and women there, I mistook the establishment as a safe environment.” In the Exodus press release, director Bob Davies admits: “That statement was widely doubted by both other Exodus leaders and by the gay community. John’s unwillingness to tell the truth from the beginning was most unfortunate.”
In a later press release, Davies says: “Although John did enter a gay bar, we are happy to report that he has no intentions of going back into homosexuality.” Davies contends Paulk “had `no sinful intentions’ in entering that bar.” He says Paulk “is still sorting out in his own mind what exactly drew him into that old environment. He succumbed to temptation while traveling alone on a business trip to Washington, DC (his trip was unrelated to his duties as Exodus chairman). Unfortunately, John complicated the situation by lying to the Exodus board and others that he had entered this bar at random to use the bathroom, not knowing it was a gay establishment. Later, he admitted the truth: He had visited the same bar on one previous occasion, six months earlier.” Paulk complains: “The gay press is now crucifying me.” He claims: “My choice to remain in a gay establishment doesn’t take away the victory.”
In the aftermath of the John Paulk gay bar embarrassment, Exodus director Bob Davies’ press release admits that Exodus must “re-examine … the public perception of our use of terms such as `healing’ and `change.’” Davies is arguing that the public, as well as would-be “ex-gays” and their families and churches, should not be focusing on expectations of actual healing or change of homosexual orientation, even though Paulk insisted that his being at the gay bar did not constitute “a lapse in heterosexuality.”
In a press release issued on August 11 – almost a month before Paulk was caught at the gay bar and in response to the recently published testimonies of 14 ex-“ex-gays” – ”Davies said: “I find it interesting that the entire focus of each individual seemed to be changing their sexual orientation. That was very different from my focus.” According to the Exodus press release: “Davies said that he never came to Exodus seeking heterosexuality.” In an Exodus press release on September 11 – a week before Paulk was caught at the gay bar – Davies is quoted as saying: “All these so-called ex-ex-gay stories sound the same. In virtually every case, men and women abandon their previously held view that homosexual behavior is sin. Ultimately, they go with their feelings [i.e. unchanged homosexual orientation].” Following Paulk’s being caught at the gay bar, Davies said: “We have in some ways begun to almost deny the reality of daily life. This is a process. We’re all on a journey together, and none of us has arrived yet.”
In a puff piece for a new “ex-gay” book, the Religious Right’s World magazine reviewer calls its author “the gay-rights movement’s worst nightmare.” She reports: “Not only does [the author] say he changed, but he wants to help others do the same. … But change is a dirty word to [homosexual] activists.” The book is entitled Coming Out Straight: Understanding and Healing Homosexuality. Both the author (Richard Cohen) and the World reviewer (Candi Cushman) wrote before the Paulk fiasco and before Bob Davies’ expression of second-thoughts on the “ex-gay” movement’s use of these very terms (“change” and “healing”). Cushman closes by quoting “ex-gay” advocacy psychologist Joseph Nicolosi’s saying: “Change is possible; that’s our message.” But she does not cite Nicolosi’s saying that his “ex-gay” approach “is not a `cure’ in the sense of erasing all homosexual feelings.” Nor does she cite his admitting that “the treatment of homosexuality [is] a lifetime process” and that a mere “commitment to celibacy” is a treatment goal.
John Paulk remains employed as an “ex-gay” at Focus on the Family, James Dobson’s $116-million-a-year nonprofit program of the Religious Right. Paulk continues as manager of the division on homosexuality. Focus spokeswoman Julie Niels insists that “the reality is that John has 1,000% left homosexuality.”
It was also in October that Dobson’s long-time co-host of the Focus on the Family radio show resigned under pressure following his admitting to an inappropriate relationship with a woman other than his wife. He had been with Focus for 19 years.
Wade Richards has left the “ex-gay” ministry after several years with Love in Action. While on an “ex-gay” speaking tour with Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, Richards says he came to the conclusion that it was wrong to propagate a promise of change that he himself never experienced. He told The Advocate reporter Chris Bull:“I knew I was still gay, but the question for me was, What kind of life could I lead? You wouldn’t believe the amount of material LaBarbera has about the gay community in his office. He has so much pornography there. It all seemed very political and ugly.” Richards says he’s now at peace about his homosexuality. Responding to his defection from the “ex-gay” movement, Love in Action’s John Smid is quoted in an Exodus press release as saying he was surprised. “The last time I spoke with him, he was sharing his excitement about giving his testimony and helping kids find freedom from their homosexual struggles and pressures through Jesus Christ.” According to Smid, Richards was “extremely gifted in evangelism and speaking of God’s intense love for people.”
“In a fallen world, insisting that all homosexual Christians must change their orientation is … reckless.” – so says Christianity Today. This is a conclusion in an editorial (September 4) in the flagship periodical of evangelicalism “Homosexual men and women will not return to the collective closet, the centuries-old practice of culturally imposed silence. Nor should they. Homosexual activists rightly insist that they not face verbal and physical abuse, threats, or even murders because of their sexual orientation.” While insisting that “homosexual intercourse strays from God’s will,” the editorial warns: “We dare not send homosexual Christians back into closets of self-loathing and terror. The answer to temptation is mutual confession, accountability, and Christian community, not shunning.” The editors note that “Too often our idea of such community begins and ends with referring people to a chapter of an `ex-gay’ ministry like Exodus International and bidding them Godspeed. Evangelicals have much to learn from the Roman Catholic ministry known as Courage, which measures success more by chaste lives than by changed orientations.”
It is to be noted that these acknowledgements mark a turn in the conventional wisdom of establishment evangelicalism. Even the use of quotation marks around “ex-gay” and the absence of quotation marks around “homosexual Christians” represent something new.
Courage, the “ex-gay” program among Roman Catholics, aims at encouraging homosexuals “to live chaste lives. This is attempted through service to others, spiritual reading, prayer, meditation, individual spiritual direction, frequent attendance at Mass, and the frequent reception of the sacraments of penance and the holy Eucharist.” In a recent National Catholic Register article endorsing Courage, a member is quoted as having been “very promiscuous: I was living [homosexual promiscuity], eating it and breathing it.” He testifies to his “conversion to a chaste lifestyle” though he admits: “Over the years I’ve seen myself fall.” He says: “Through penance, you get back up.”
Fuller Theological Seminary sociologist Jack Balswick and the school’s director of clinical training, Judith Balswick, write: “We acknowledge that some gay Christians may choose to commit themselves to a lifelong, monogamous homosexual union, believing this is God’s best for them.” This is in this married couple’s 1999 book, Authentic Human Sexuality: An Integrated Christian Approach and quoted in The Atlantic Monthly cover feature, “The Opening of the Evangelical Mind” by Alan Wolfe (October). The Balswicks add: “Even though we hold to the model of a heterosexual, lifelong, monogamous union, our compassion brings us to support all persons as they move in the direction of God’s ideal for their lives.”
Wolfe notes that “Fuller has evolved a `Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy with respect to homosexuality.” He reports that though Fuller president Richard Mouw insists that homosexuality violates the school’s statement of faith and that it is his job to enforce the rules, Mouw asked a lesbian student to vow celibacy until she graduated. She agreed to do so. Mouw is quoted as saying: “We want to be compassionate within the terms of our theology. … [but] homosexuality is not the worst thing in the world.”
A recent editorial in Moody magazine warns its fundamentalist Christian readers that “thoughtless, uncaring words or deeds” aimed at homosexuals, for example, can prompt them “to reject the Lord we claim to serve.” The November-December editorial acknowledges: “Particularly today, in a charged and divisive political atmosphere, we often lash out – sometimes using ugly words and actions. … People who see us screaming at our enemies [in “hot public issues like abortion and homosexual conduct”] can’t be expected to reconcile our behavior with our claims to represent a gracious, loving God.” The editorial ends by noting: “Why should [e.g. a homosexual] believe anything we say about Christ – let alone desire to join us? Should he become, by the grace of God, a follower of Jesus, it would be in spite of us, not with our aid.”
A young gay man who graduated from Taylor University has set up a gay/lesbian alumni Web site. Also a graduate of Ashland Theological Seminary, he is inviting Taylor alumni who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered (as well as their families and friends) to drop by the Web site at and share their stories with each other.
Lynne Cheney wrote a Signet romance in 1981 entitled Sisters. It featured an Old West lesbian theme. The book’s jacket promised a “novel of a strong and beautiful woman who broke all the rules of the American frontier [where] women were forced to band together for the strength they needed and at times for the love they wanted.”
Elaine Showalter, an English professor at Princeton University found a copy of the book while browsing through a used-book store and she has written a scholarly review for The Chronicle of Higher Education. Showalter says Cheney “approaches these issues in a very open-minded way, and a way very sympathetic to the women and very sympathetic to the feminist arguments.” The outspokenly conservative Cheney, who chaired the National Endowment of the Humanities and is married to Dick Cheney and the mother of an openly lesbian daughter, wrote these words in one passage in which the main character watches two women embrace in a covered wagon: “She saw that the women in the cart had a passionate loving intimacy forever closed to her. How strong it made them. What comfort it gave.” According to Cheney, her book sold “about 500 copies” back in the 80’s: “I hope the renewed interest in it will send it flying off the shelves.”
“People should be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to enter into. I think we ought to do everything we can to tolerate and accommodate whatever kind of relationships people want to enter into.” These were Dick Cheney’s words in response to a question about gay marriage during the nationally-televised debate between the vice-presidential candidates. His words prompted outraged response from the Religious Right. Tim Wildmon’s American Family Association Web site stated that Cheney should have insisted that “same-sex marriages are wrong.” Wildmon indicated that Cheney’s comments could open up the way for polygamy. Failed presidential hopeful Gary Bauer, now head of the Campaign for Working Families, lamented Cheney’s comments: “The last 30 years have been a social disaster largely because people have felt free to enter into – or leave – any relationship they wanted.” According to antigay activist Peter LaBarbera: Cheney “sold the store …Once you start conceding gay relationships, it’s over.”
Wake Forest University has instituted domestic partnership benefits for employees. The school was founded by Southern Baptists.
The Southeastern Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is now the first Protestant denomination in the South to pass a statement of welcome to gay and lesbian people and their families. The statement was passed by an estimated 2/3 majority at the annual meeting of the Synod in Nashville. The Synod is comprised of congregations in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee.
A front-page article about The Real World’s “hip, 21-year-old Catholic” was featured in a summer issue of the conservative National Catholic Register. Matt Smith is profiled and celebrated for his up-front Christian testimony while living with six other young men and women in a New Orleans mansion rented for them by MTV. Smith reports: “What is really dominating my e-mails is `thank God they put someone who likes God on TV.’ People are saying it’s cool that someone could have a good time and not be into sex and drugs.” He has committed himself to abstinence until he marries.
Gay people have been watching the series because one of the roommates is Danny, the openly gay 22-year-old who was featured on the cover of a recent issue of The Advocate. One episode has Smith explaining to Danny that the Catholic Church’s stance on homosexuality is not rooted in hate. The Register reports: “What had started in heated confrontation … ended with the two men hugging. Toward the end of the show’s taping, [Danny] ended up accompanying Smith to Mass, which Smith had attended daily since moving onto the set.”
The World Alliance of Reformed Churches is torn over how to deal with the human rights of gays and lesbians. According to a representative of the Uniting Presbyterian Church in Southern Africa, “People are being mauled and burned alive because of their sexual orientation and the churches are running away.” Most African delegates to the Alliance’s recent meeting in India complained that support for homosexuals would hurt ministry in the developing world. The World Alliance is a global body of 200 member churches.
America Online’s CEO Steve Case and his wife, Jean, have donated $8.35 million to Jean Case’s alma mater, Westminster Academy, closely affiliated with antigay crusader D. James Kennedy’s Coral Ridge Ministries. Responding to some lesbigayt activists’ objections to the way the Cases were giving away their money, Steve Case wrote: “It was a gift to my wife’s alma mater, given at the same time as a similar gift was given to my alma mater in Hawaii. These gifts were made because we are appreciative of the educational experiences we received from our high schools – pure and simple. …The gifts were not intended to send any message other than thanks, and were certainly not intended – nor did they in fact – support any anti-gay efforts by any organizations or individuals associated with the schools. Needless to say, it has been difficult for us to be tagged by some as `anti-gay’ simply because we were supporting our alma maters – and it is especially difficult given our long-standing records of opposing discrimination in any form, including discrimination based upon sexual orientation. We are proud of what we’ve done with the AOL service to provide gays and lesbians with a supportive online community – and to stand with gays and lesbians and protect their rights and freedoms even when we were harshly criticized (and sometimes even threatened) by anti-gay forces for doing so. We also are proud of the steps we’ve taken at our company to ensure that our own policies and practices are supportive of gays and lesbians. I value the relationship that continues to grow between AOL and the gay-lesbian community.”
This explanation is not quieting the rage of some self-appointed leaders of the Lesbigayt Left. One says: “Anyone who financially supports AOL is an enemy of our community, be they straight individuals, businesses, or organizations, or gay versions of the aforementioned.” Another is calling on gays and lesbians to cancel their AOL accounts.
But openly-lesbian Wall Street Journal reporter Kara Swisher, author of the book AOL.com: How Steve Case Beat Bill Gates, Nailed the Netheads, and Made Millions in the War for the Web, says the Cases could not have been more supportive of her own lesbian partnership with Megan Smith, the CEO of the gay Web portal PlanetOut. Though the Cases were unable to attend the Swisher-Smith commitment ceremony, Swisher says they sent “one of the loveliest notes I received. I just don’t think anyone who is antigay sends you a note saying how happy they are you are getting married to your same-sex partner. They would just ignore it.” Swisher told The Advocate that she thought the Cases were being stereotyped as antigay because they are devout Christians.
Gay men are more “religious” than are heterosexual men and lesbians. Although studies consistently show that women in general are much more involved in religious activities than are men, Darren Sherkat of Vanderbilt University reports that gay men “are more avid religious participants than are male heterosexuals … and are similar to female heterosexuals in their rates of religious participation.” Self-styled bisexuals are found to be the least religiously involved, with lesbians just slightly more religious than bisexuals. University of Washington sociologist Rodney Stark argues that high testosterone levels and an inability to inhibit impulses for instant gratification in males may account for the male-female differences. These findings were presented at the fall meetings of the Religious Research Association in Houston.
The Netherlands approved full-fledged marriage for same-sex couples in September. Lawmakers in The Hague approved the law by a vote of 109 to 33. Only a few small Christian parties had voiced opposition. Some members of the main opposition party, the Christian Democratic Alliance, voted in support. Both the Old Catholic Church and the Remonstrant Brethren, a group that broke from the Protestant church in 1619, supported the new law. The Remonstrants accepted gay marriage in 1986. Denmark recognized same-sex “registered partnerships” in 1989. Similar legislation has been put into effect in France, Sweden and Brazil. California provides for registered “domestic partnerships” and Vermont offers same-sex “civil unions.”
The Evangelical Church, Switzerland’s main Protestant denomination, is considering the institution of ceremonies to bless gay and lesbian unions. Officials of the church in the canton of Baselland are arguing on behalf of such ceremonies in an effort to counter discrimination against homosexuals.
A Church of England vicar has been hounded into resignation by harassing letters and phone calls about his homosexuality. On the advice of police, the London vicar has gone into hiding and two church lay leaders have been arrested.
Anti-gay members of the Episcopal Church continue to threaten to split the 2.5-million-member denomination. Some recent symptoms of disaffection: two Florida parishes and four Colorado priests have left the church to align with “missionary” bishops ordained in Singapore and the bishop of Pennsylvania was denied communion at a conservative parish in his own state. Controversies over the ordination of women and the blessing of same-sex unions top the list of conservatives’ grievances.
A Florida rabbi announced his homosexuality on National Coming Out Day. Rabbi Stephen Moch met with the board of his 600-member Temple Beth-El congregation in St. Petersburg on October 11, the annual date of “Coming Out Day.” After the meeting, a letter was sent out by the temple president saying: “We reaffirmed our commitment to the congregation and rabbi, and we are going forward with open minds and open hearts.” Temple Beth-El is a part of Reform Judaism, which approved gay rabbis in 1991.
The Central Conference of American Rabbis has proclaimed that “the relationship of a Jewish same-gender couple is worthy of affirmation through appropriate Jewish ritual.” This new stand by Reform Judaism follows the move made in 1993 by Reconstructionist Judaism, a much smaller and progressive group. The Rabbinical Council of America, representing Orthodox Judaism, issued a harsh rebuke to Jewish blessing of same-sex couples: “As a timeless faith rooted in Divine revelation, Judaism’s laws cannot be abrogated by fiat or majority vote or redesigned to fit a current behavior pattern. Conferring legitimacy upon relationships, which our Torah and tradition specifically prohibit, is beyond the pale of acceptable Jewish teaching and practice.”
The World Congress of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Jewish Organizations met in 2000 for the 16th annual conference. It was held at the Hilton Woodcliff Lake in New Jersey. About 270 people from nine countries attended the four-day event. There were workshops on topics ranging from “coming out as a rabbi” to tallit-making and discussions of gematria (manipulations of the numerical equivalents of Hebrew letters) and notrikun (Hebrew-letter abbreviations).
According to Manhattan’s largest Jewish newspaper, Conservative Judaism’s Jewish Sentinel, Tel Aviv-Yaffo’s first openly lesbian city council member, Michal Eden, of the Meretz Party, spoke at the conference. She told the assembly: “My father made things clear: if I did not change [my sexual orientation], any contact that I would want to make with my family would be subject to his approval, and he would not approve unless I changed.” The Sentinel reports: “She said that after she came out, her father expelled her from their house, harassed her, threatened her partner with violence and smashed a car belonging to a friend who gave her shelter. She further said that when she was in the hospital, her mother risked marital separation by phoning her. … `My brother said if he were [our] father, he would have murdered me,’ Eden said.”
Israel has lowered the legal age of consent for homosexual sex from 18 to 16. This brings the age of consent for homosexual sex into line with that for heterosexual sex.
AND FINALLY:
A graduate student at Indiana State University is calling for papers for her “jourzine.” Contributions are invited from “women, men and transgendered people” who identify as “feminists/Womanists/New Mestiza/Third Wave/Cyberfeminists [or] all, one or some” of these. Guidance is sought from “political/cultural activists [and] everyday people.” Applicants are advised that “essays should not exceed 7,000 words and should follow MLA guidelines.”